we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I can't turn off my feet"
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
