I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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