Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
