apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Randomize
