I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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