i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
