I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
