Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
