Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize