Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
