So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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