i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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