I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
