I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
