Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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