Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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