Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
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