i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
