Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
