U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
