i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
