Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
we have officially lost it.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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