After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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