p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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