I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I need a hoe opinion
go on
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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