I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
