wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
