And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
