i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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