just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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