It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
