You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
this boner is exhausting
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
