I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize