i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
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