Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
