i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I think weed is turning my hair brown
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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