2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Randomize
