I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
