There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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