Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
