When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
