Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
you never un-have a 4some
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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