it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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