What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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