everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
