All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
