why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
