Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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