Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
