just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize