on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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