I must be too annoying 4 u.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
