I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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