bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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