Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
