I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
