nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
