dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
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