That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
She said her name was "party"
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
