Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
