Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
