All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Randomize
