You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
